Written by Attract More on Oct. 17th 2022
Your Current Idea of Confidence Is Weak
Well fortunately for you my friend, Attract More will define confidence and you will know exactly what to embody after five simple minutes of reading. Stick with me if you desire to become exactly what women declare they want….Jair Robinson. Just kidding, you can’t become me, but you can become a confident man.
If you want to know exactly what not to do, be sure to read our other articles, How To Get Girls By Not Doing Anything and 5 Things You Are Doing Unaware That Makes You Non-Attractive.
I said five minutes. So let’s get directly to the juicy stuff.
Anyone Can Be Confident
Imagine, the most unconfident teen named David. David is at school, shy around women, the cheerleaders, and even around his attractive teacher, Mrs. Robinson. He feels that the jocks are always on the verge of making fun of him. And even sits at lunch alone, wanting someone to sit with him, but at the same time anxious that someone will. He is so self-conscious that he dares not speak to anybody that he doesn’t know because he is scared of what they may say about him. This same young boy, when given his messy room full of anime posters, lighting that would make an epileptic shudder, a Turtle Beach video game headset, and a webcam becomes the most aggressive, confident man on earth… or at least on the battlefield of COD High-rise. He is screaming expletives, saying what he wants without concern about who is at the party, and his hands are never in his pocket. He doesn’t show discomfort or closed-off body language. He is sprawled out, in his gaming chair, and in his element. Would you say that this boy is still not confident, or would you just say he is not confident at school but too confident over the internet? Maybe if David knew how to embody the same assurance at school, David would find his people or his people would find him.
Knowing What To Aim For
The reason why, you, or David, have not become the confident man you want to be is because you can’t define it. How can you hit a target you can’t see. How can you see the confidence in yourself that you already have? Most people are very confident when on their living room couch , talking to untraceable strangers, or bantering in online forums. And this starts us off with the first, and possibly best, definition that you will have for confidence.
5. Being Comfortable
From now on, don’t think of confidence as confidence. Just focus on being comfortable. In life, when you see the most confident people, take note that they are extremely comfortable in that setting. Even more so, they are comfortable in high pressure, high consequential settings. Their body language does not close off. They do not become smaller or cross their arms. They continue to stand tall and fill up the room, as if it was their own bedroom. When you are at home on the couch, binge watching Game of Thrones and chomping on beef liver and raw garlic(especially if you are following my diet advice for testosterone increase), you aren’t closed off. You aren’t uncomfortable. You are simply being yourself without a care of what people are thinking of you, sprawled out, testicles getting a refreshing air dry. Your goal, is to let the world become your proverbial living room, and exude yourself in your most comfortable state in even the most dire situations. Being as non reactive as possible, you walk through carelessly in public settings, high volume venues, public speaking engagements, or even your job. But please do not let your testicles hang dry in the office.
4. Speak with assurance
3. Decide with Assurance
Do you hesitate when making decisions? Of course not, you read Attract More’s article on 5 Things You Are Doing Unaware That Makes You Non-Attractive. Good job. You probably noticed that people trust you because you do not deliberate when a decision is presented to you. You are able to take in the limited information given to you and you make a quality decision immediately. You know that making a bad decision and learning from it instantly is better than making the right decision after spending hours deliberating, or even worse, not making a decision at all. Women hate indecisive men. Even if you don’t know what to do, at least make a quick decision and appear as if you know what you are doing in front of her. Win that Emmy. Earn that Oscar boy.
Pre-plan if you have to so that when it is time to talk with your peers, you already spent your time alone deliberating but ultimately reaching a conclusion.
“I don’t know. What restaurant we should go to?”
“I don’t know. What we should do tonight.”
“What are you feeling for this weekend babe?”
“What do you think we should do tonight?”
Nonetheless, these are all incredibly sneaky questions that stem from an indecisive mindset that is killing your attraction. Know your end goal, and simply decide with assurance.
“This restaurant is amazing, we are going to this one tonight and you are going to explode with pleasure.
“We are doing this tonight. Actually, I won’t tell you. I’ll surprise you. I’m going on a hike and watching a video from the best secret spot in the city. I can hardly wait for you to experience it.”
Be the one who decides for both yourself and the group with certainty. This type of decisive energy will get dating options, friends, coworkers, and even your boss on board with you.
Disclaimer: I know there is a place and time to get your dates’ or loved ones’ input. But most of you don’t struggle with that. Typically, once you do get that input, the onus to make a decision is still put on you nonetheless.
2. Move with Assurance
Yes, even the way you walk is important. If you know anything about what Attract More teaches, you know that we preach that direction is incredibly important for both a man to exhibit so that a woman feels safe following you.
If you have uncertainty about the direction of your life, it will manifest in your movement. Your walk will move slowly, and cautiously, with fear of making mistakes.
When you are decisive, know what you want, and have decided the plans for both you and the group, you will walk with conviction. Your stride will be quicker-paced, taking the shortest path to get from A to B. Similar to how you approach every desire in life, you go straight to it without beating around the bush.
Picture this, one guy is walking downtown through any popular U.S. Street like Beale Street in Memphis, 6th Street in Austin, and Deep Ellum in Dallas. If you know anything about nightlife in high-traffic, downtown areas, you know that it can attract rowdy crowds.
The unconfident man stares at his phone unassured, politely yet fearfully leads his girl around large mobs of people, and takes the easy path to get to the restaurant, walking the long way to avoid bumping into the crowds. The confident man moves with assurance, knows the restaurant they are going to, pulls his girl by the hand, and takes her directly from where they are with a positive stride to the desired location. If there are crowds of people, he doesn’t go the long way to reduce the chances of confrontation. He confidently, and politely, navigates himself directly through the noise and heaps of people. A confident stride and a firm yet gentle gesture of “whatsup man, just squeezing through” will get you a long way. Try it next time with your date when you take her to the front of a concert.
1. Act with Assurance
Practice doing everything that you do, and I mean everything, with assurance. The gap between someone who radiates confidence and someone who doesn’t typically is a lack of experience in a particular skill. In the breakdance community, I have seen countless of aggressive, competitive dancers who in battles, radiate otherworldly levels of confidence. Outside of the dancefloor, they can be extremely…boring for a lack of better words. The familiarity that they have with a particular skill has endowed them with confidence even in high stake situations. Nonetheless, the most important thing is, even if their dance moves are not that great, if they are doing it with assurance, it gives the illusion that they are a better dancer than they are. This is because we trust people who perform with confidence.
Pay attention to how you drive, cook, direct meetings at work, play guitar, dance, and play sports. Do you do activities whilst being over careful, fearful of making mistakes, having a body full of tension, and scared of risking loss? Or do you move with playfulness like someone who is at the top of their field? Is your body lax, are you moving forward without being too meticulous, is your body lax, are you smiling? Brush your teeth with swagger, change lanes with smoothness, season your food with the boldness of Emeril Lagasse…BAM. Does it have to be exactly one spoon of paprika because of fear of destroying the recipe, or do you just get a feel for a teaspoon, and throw it on the simmering meat…BAM, and intuitively sense what is right. Hit flow in whatever you do, so that when you are around others, you are flowing through life with exuberance, a carefree aura that moves forward steadily rather than tip-toeing due to fear of failure.
If you pay attention to confident people, they may not realize that they are confident, but that doesn’t matter so much. What matters is that you are perceived as confident. However, women are biologically programmed to test you. Don’t be mad at these tests. It is nature. It is her way to vet if you are the man you present yourself to be. Now that you know the attributes that exude and define true confidence, you will be able to test yourself objectively. Are you speaking your truth with conviction, or are you sugarcoating words because you are scared of dismissal? When you are walking, especially when with friends, do you find yourself not knowing where you are? Do you get distracted and linger around waiting for someone else to say let’s go. Or do you direct the group and say okay it’s time, we have a reservation at Nobu and it’s going to be PHENOMENAL. “Let’s go”, and you start leading the stride without looking back. Constantly replay your days in your head, seeing where you are softening your aura to be safe, and instead let that Aura radiate with certainty. People will be drawn to you for your confidence, because you speak, move, and act with certainty! And not least at all, remember, the world is your bedroom, so let your metaphorical testicles air out in comfort.
Disclaimer: Please do not air out your testicles in your office, public spaces, or near any school. Attract More is not responsible for any actions of readers of this blog, as all information is for entertainment purposes only.
Become Confident Within 8 Weeks instead of 8 Years
Remember this. To sum it up, confidence is believing in who you are to get whatever task is ahead of you done. Bet on yourself!
If you want to become your most confident self and go through a step-by-step, transformational change within our next available 8-week class with our team, then sign up to schedule a meeting with me to discuss if enrolling in our next 8-week class will be right for you to.
Attract More
Jair helps shows men how simple attraction can be. He is an expert at helping people see the most powerful version of themselves and become it.
If you're interested in eliminating blindspots that have cost you opportunities with women, reach out and request a free strategy session today.